Satan is surfing the sun to Earth and you’re going to hurt, but at least I’ll be home again.

Sometimes I forget to know how to feel, and I try to feel but I can’t. I get so wrapped up in my unfeeling that everything naturally disappears. I don’t mean to hurt you like you say that I hurt you, in fact, in the moment I can’t even imagine how I do, because there I am trying to hurt myself and I can’t feel a thing. To me, how can you possibly?

And I’m usually so detached that I can’t even vaguely remember what it’s like to feel, or that the reason I’m numb to begin with is to escape from that. But there I am, doing anything to try to get that feeling back just so I can figure out whether this is real or not, and I can’t trace things far back enough to know. Only to those last thoughts, “this isn’t happening… this isn’t happening…”

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One Comment on “Satan is surfing the sun to Earth and you’re going to hurt, but at least I’ll be home again.”

  1. artyelf says:

    This all sounds very familiar.
    Be gentle, you are worth this. ♡


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