Time around me is ticking and tocking, but the time within me has stopped. I am frozen within a single, chaotic frame of time.
I always imagined stagnancy to be tranquil, but it seems that I was so wrong. I am suspended in a fixed state of turbulence.
No, go on. Finish your thought.
But I already did.
w a s t i n g a w a y
just as I physically DON’T.
How do you grow from nothing?
Please tell me, do miracles happen?
You know they don’t.
We* live in a time of self-righteousness, where apparently our own protection and dignity is of uttermost importance in a fuck-the-world kind of way. We dare not admit when we’re wrong for fear that there will be consequences (and rightly so) for our wrongdoings. We don’t ever apologise because it would be admitting that we were wrong to begin with. Instead, we hide the facts, replace them with falsities and defend ourselves to the end, no matter what. We have no mercy, no compassion, no empathy for our victims (accidental or not), trampling them and everyone around them even flatter to the ground.
Trigger Warning: This video reports content relating to mental illness, self-harm, suicide, death.
*I use the term ‘we’ loosely. I would hope that I’d NEVER be this way (I’d rather be killed than told that I am). And I would hope you wouldn’t either.
Every night I struggle to get to sleep knowing that when I wake it will be another day. When I finally get to sleep, I struggle to wake up knowing that the new day has come.
(Close your eyes,
Fall back to sleep,
And waste your life away –
far, far away from life.)