She whispered,

“she’s put on weight, hasn’t she! I won’t tell her that. But she looks good. She looks healthy!”… Not knowing that I was in the room next door, fully able to hear every word she was saying.

Earlier in the day I had a conversation with another woman about being vegetarian. She was quite surprised to hear that I was, informing me that I look like a “healthy” vegetarian… whatever that’s supposed to even mean. Weighty enough? Slim enough? I don’t know. I’ve seen vegetarians of every size.

The words are like bombs going off, only now, they’re a little further off into the distance. The ED voice is there, but small and unsure. It panics, saying, “oh God, you’ve put on so much weight,” and I respond, “yeah, but I’m healthy now,” and it asks me, “but, is that okay?”

And I say, “yes. Yes it is.”


9 Comments on “She whispered,”

  1. Hey glad you’re back! What a battle eh?! xo

  2. dontsayes says:

    Good for you for not letting your ED voice control your thoughts! I’m proud of you. πŸ™‚

  3. It took me so long before I finally asked myself, “what else could they say?” always know that to everyone else healthy is good. Say it a million times πŸ™‚

  4. reflectionsonlifethusfar says:

    Excellent! I admit that it bothers me a teensy bit if someone says I look “healthy” since I know they mean heavier. But, honestly, it barely registers anymore. So I’m grateful for that. Sounds like you’re doing well πŸ™‚

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