“I’m here for you”

No, you’re not.

And I understand that you’re not lying. You don’t actually know that you can’t be here for me. You don’t know what it involves, so you’re not even aware of the monstrosity that you’re promising me right now.

Even if you knew, I could never allow you to be here for me. Because I would say things like, “I want to be dead now,” in all seriousness, and there would be absolutely nothing that you could say to me to make me feel better or want any differently, despite your best efforts.

You would feel helpless. And I would feel worse because it would only justify my feelings of hopelessness.

12 Comments on ““I’m here for you””

  1. dontsayes says:

    Yes, this!
    I know people are trying to be nice and understanding when they say they are here for you but in all honesty it doesn’t help the situation. I find it harder because then when you do go to them for support they freak out and don’t know what to do. It’s such a hard thing for anyone to understand, I know, but I just wish people would be there without them having to say it.

  2. Grainne says:

    I pretty much blow that comment off as well. People want to be kind and think that by telling you they will be there, they are helping. In reality, it just frustrates to be told over and over that someone will catch you when you fall, only to find that no one is there when you actually do.

    • Yeah it sounds nice in theory…
      I remember through treatment they’d always tell me to reach out/ask for help blah blah blah, but 99% of the time no one is available when I need them so I don’t know how that’s supposed to work.

  3. i was just wondering so as to learn, would you rather people say nothing or is there something other than “I’m here for you.” that is easier to hear?

  4. Pen says:

    I always preferred the “I hear you”. The simple validation without any promises, opinions, or judgment seems the least harmful to me.

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