it wouldn’t matter.

i try to vanish. slowly, i disappear, and begin to fade. i push the limit sometimes, to test how far i can go before people start to notice that i’m gone. sometimes i think that it wouldn’t even matter.

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everything feels right again

because i’m self-destructing.

and if this is what feels most right, then it must be what i’m supposed to do.


nothing is real

i’d go to the moon and back for anyone about anything, but i’m unworthy of a single thought or consideration. 

yeah, that seems to be the general rule of life. 

and i’ll admit that i’ve never been the best at communicating my needs or wants, which has contributed to part of the problem at times. 

but the thing is, if you have to ask someone to think of you, to consider you or to care about you on the most basic level, then is it actually genuine in the end? shouldn’t they want to to begin with?

this is what hurts me the most about the world.